You don’t need confidence to go after your goals – you need courage.

I often hear people say “I want to work on my confidence” or “I want to be more confident in my leadership at work.” Heck, I use to say those things. Confidence was a goal of mine. I wanted to work on my confidence so I could be a better public speaker. I wanted to be more confident in my acting so I could feel better in the audition room.

I came to relate to confidence as the thing I needed in order to feel better about taking uncomfortable actions – actions that would one day bring me closer to living my dream life.

My habit was to look at the successful people around me and perceive them as being really confident in themselves and their work. I attributed their success to their level of confidence and then I would sit there wishing to be as confident as them.

The truth of the matter is that a lot of people who live out these wildly successful careers and even hold a global stage aren’t necessarily as confident as you might think. One thing almost all of them are is incredibly courageous.

The dictionary defines confidence as a “feeling” or “belief” – the feeling or belief that one can rely on someone or something; firm trust; or a feeling of self-assurance arising from one’s appreciation of one’s own abilities or qualities.

As an ontological coach, quite often what I witness with people (myself included) is a trap we set for ourselves in our pursuit of our goals. We want to feel better about something (have confidence in it or ourselves) before we do it.

For me that would look like waiting to publish my writing until I felt more confident in my writing abilities. But I am very aware now that if I’m waiting for that day to arrive, I could be waiting my whole life.

Sometimes confidence doesn’t come. It’s not always reliable to show up, no matter how many times you’ve put yourself out there before. Confidence is something you earn over time. Practicing courage is how you put yourself in the situations that will enable you to develop more confidence.

Have you ever tried to feel or act confident when you really weren’t?  It can put a lot of pressure on you, leaving you feeling worse in the end or feeling like a fraud. False confidence can also serve as a mask we wear to protect ourselves and our insecurities.

Now I’m not saying that having true confidence is a bad thing, in fact we are all born 100% confident but then life happens and it diminishes our confidence over time (the subject of an entirely different post).

What I would like to do is re-work our current definition of confidence from being a belief or feeling to being:


When we define confidence as a belief or a certain way we need to feel, we often put pressure on ourselves to feel this certain way which only adds pressure to the situation. It’s a vicious cycle that can have you feeling overwhelmed. If we just gave less fucks and practiced courage, a lot of the pressure we put on ourselves would be alleviated.

Ask yourself: by being courageous and giving less fucks what could you do in this moment that would have you moving toward your goals? To living your dream life?

Don’t wait for confidence to show up before you truly start living.

If being more confident is a goal of yours, try replacing it with being more courageous and see where that leads you. Courage has you act in the face of all the uncomfortable feelings, with or without confidence needing to be present.

In what areas of your life could you start practicing courage right now?

If you’re anything like me, someone who keeps raising the bar for themselves, know that both your courage and confidence will always be tested. If you continue to stretch and expand your boundaries you’ll never really “arrive” at a comfortable place. It’s all up to how you choose to live your life.

So if you’ve got unfulfilled goals and you’ve been waiting for confidence to pursue them, stop waiting. Be courageous and stretch your limits. Before you know it that courage will turn into confidence and you’ll be one step closer to living your dream life.



The amount of space you take up is determined by how much you can be with. The people who can be with more, more emotions and feelings, hold more space.

Ask yourself this – what feelings can you be with? And more importantly, what feelings can’t you be with?

What is your relationship like to sadness, anger, disappointment, frustration? Do you suppress or avoid any of these feelings?

In life, we will avoid what we can’t be with.

In psychotherapy I discovered that your childhood relationships can give great insight into the amount of space you may allow yourself to take up in this world.

Think back to your relationship with your parents. What could or couldn’t you be around them? Could you speak up and assert yourself with them? Could you express your creativity? Could you be sad around them or afraid?

If you have a hard time risking failure or disappointment, or you hold yourself back from being fully self-expressed, a part of what’s stopping you is your avoidance of all the feelings that can come up when you do “fail” or encounter judgments or criticism.  That’s because we often have disempowering relationships to our challenges and failures, so we avoid taking on any risk in the first place so as to avoid the “negative” feelings that we may have attached to our failures.

What you couldn’t be around your parents is often what they also they couldn’t be with in themselves. They likely picked this up from their parents and it’s a pattern that can continue from one generation to the next.

As a young adult I had a hard time being with sadness and risking failure. Failure was not on the table for me. It wasn’t an option. I also made being sad mean there was something wrong with me, something that needed to be fixed and I had to do whatever it took to make it go away or avoid being it at all.

But in all honestly it’s totally normal for humans to experience all kinds of emotions. Emotions are a healthy part of being alive. Life is like a rollercoaster and our emotions change from one moment to the next.  It’s okay to find yourself in a funk sometimes. It’s okay for all of us (especially boys and men) to cry. It doesn’t mean you are weak or not a man, it simply means you are human and allowing for a healthy release of your emotions.

We humans are feeling creatures. We are meant to feel our emotions and feelings, not suppress them or deny their existence. In today’s society with all the prescription pain medications at our fingertips it makes it even more difficult for us to be with or accept and feel pain – whatever kind of pain it is.

As counter-intuitive as this may sound one of the key ingredients to living a more fulfilled and peaceful life is to have room for and be with more of your stuff – more of your feelings and emotions and fears.

Let your emotions breathe, give yourself permission to have them, and have it be okay that you do.  Allowing your emotions to exist instead of avoiding them will give them less power over you because what you can be with can’t control you. Your emotions will loose their power. You can even bring some humor into it, like “Oh hey there funk, you’re back again, been a while, what brings you here?”

When you can be with more emotions you’ll naturally start taking up more space. You’ll be more free to be yourself and go after what you really want. Feelings of fear about what others may think, or fear of failure won’t be something to avoid anymore, they’ll be things you expect and embrace (because hello, you are human and it’s totally normal to feel all kinds of feelings). You’ll start taking actions you’ve never taken before because you’ll have stopped letting your emotions define you.

But in all of this there is an IMPORTANT NOTE: once you give yourself permission to be with and accept any disempowering feelings that come up, you must then go beyond them. Thank them for showing up because it means you are alive and have a beating heart, but then force your focus on empowering thoughts. Make a list of everything you appreciate and are grateful for in your life, celebrate the small successes you achieve every day, take care of your well being in whatever way you enjoy (ie. meditating, yoga, running, getting outside).

Then take action in the face of your feelings. Take action that supports what it is you really want. Don’t sit in your sadness for days or your fear of failure for years. Instead, take action despite them. Re-define your relationship to them. Get responsible for what you are making your feelings mean about you. And know that when you are going after what you want and being fully self-expressed, fear and disempowering emotions will never be more present! When fear shows up, see it as a good sign that you are pushing yourself and stepping outside of your comfort zone. You are doing different to get different (instead of more of the same).  So invite your feelings and fear to come along for the ride but don’t let them take the wheel.

How much space do you want to hold in this world? How bright do you want your light to shine? The more you can be with, the bigger (and more badass) you’ll be!

To develop a healthier relationship to your feelings and take up more space in this world try this:


Distinguish what emotions or feelings you can’t be with. Think back to your childhood – Who couldn’t you be around your parents, at school, or with any authority figure in your life. For example, I couldn’t fail, I couldn’t cry, I couldn’t be disappointed, I couldn’t be in a funk!


With each emotion or feeling, write down how avoiding or suppressing it is affecting you. How is it making you feel? How is it holding you back in your life right now? In your relationships? In your career? For example, fear of failing could be keeping you miserable in your current job and holding you back from trying something new. Or fear of feeling or causing disappointment could be costing you stress and irritation, preventing you from telling your romantic partner what you really want more of in your relationship.


Now that you’ve gained some clarity around what you’re not allowing yourself to be with and what it’s costing you, you can take responsibility for choosing which kind of relationship you want to have with certain feelings – and you can take action that supports what it is you want in your life vs. supporting more of the emotion. Do you choose possibility or predictability? Do you want to stay in the pattern you’ve been operating in? You are just going to keep getting more of what you’ve got if you do. So how much longer do you want your emotions to have control over you? Do you want to risk feeling these emotions and set yourself free from their constraints? Do you want your emotions to stop preventing you from being who you want to be and going after what it is you really want?


I’m not telling you to indulge in your emotions but rather just to be with them when they show up – allow them to simply exist and stop making them wrong. Don’t judge them. Don’t beat yourself up for feeling a certain way. Do not jump in the pool of sadness or anger and go swimming around in it and splashing waves of anger at other people. Just notice these feelings are present and be okay with them, then MOVE ON. Don’t forget that when you’re stepping outside of your comfort zone fear will never be more present. So instead of beating yourself up over how you are feeling you can get curious about it. What led you to here? What thoughts or fears may have been swirling around in your head for the past few days to bring this on? What effective action can you take right now that would be in service of you feeling better and taking care of your well being?  And what action can you take right now that would support what it is you want vs. fall back into old habits? Start by allowing 5-15% more emotion to exist, then you can work your way up to feeling more and more when you are ready.

Transformation doesn’t happen overnight. In changing any habit or learned behaviour you need to allow time for practice, so please have a whole lot of patience. I recommend you take on a daily practice here. What actions can you take on today to support being with an emotion you suppress?  Do not approach your emotions as though something is wrong, rather that there is something missing.

Being with your fears or disempowering feelings can feel scary as hell to do but like anything, with practice it gets easier. The key here is to re-define what you’re making your feelings mean about you. For example, your sadness, re-define it so that it empowers you rather than makes you feel worse.

Also practice faith. Faith that you will be okay, that you are okay, and everything will work out – because I’m telling you, it will.

Writer’s note: You are the best judge of your feelings so if you recognize or know that your relationship with some emotions have developed into unhealthy habits (drinking, drug abuse, depression etc.) or is putting your life in danger, by no means is this article meant to make light of whatever it is you are experiencing. Mental health is to be taken seriously and mental health awareness is important. If you or someone you know shows signs or suffers from mental health disorders such as depression, anxiety, substance abuse, eating disorders, or anger management issues, I highly recommend you/they seek the help and support of a therapist and/or medical doctor.


What are some things you want to do right now but can’t?

Take a minute to think about this and come up with 3-5 things and the reasons why.

Maybe you want to spend less time commuting to work. Maybe you want more flexibility with your work day. Maybe you want to take on a new career. Maybe you want to take a day off or go away on holiday, or maybe it’s as simple as you want to stay in tonight but have plans to go out. Whatever it is, you want it but you don’t see it as being possible.

Well I’m here to tell you – it is possible, you can!

Take back your power. Be your own badass boss. Take back authority over yourself, your time, and your life. 

Who have you given your power away to? (Hint: it’s the answer to your why). Is it your boss at work, your partner, your family, your friends, where you live, your work, your bank account? Are any of these or any other circumstances behind the reasons it’s not possible?

When it comes to getting what you want, what it really comes down to is you getting out of your own way, not anyone else. For example, you just need to give yourself permission to take on a different job, not your boss. Or you need to give yourself permission to take a holiday, not your bank account.

If you’ve given your power away, you need to take it back. Your power shouldn’t be in the hands of your boss, your bank account, your family, your friends…you get the point. You wield the throne of your life. You get to say what you can or cannot do, no one else.

Trust me when I say this, in taking back your power (aka being your own badass boss) you really have nothing to lose. Anything you do lose is going to be worth losing anyways. If it’s not giving you what you want what does continuing to hold onto it give you? More of the same. Is that what you want?

Whatever isn’t allowing you to live the life you want, do the things you want, or have the things you want, it’s worth losing. So take action towards what you want – especially if it means giving up what’s in the way of you being who you really want to be.

Now you may be saying to yourself right now, “but I have one really good reason why I can’t quit my job or I shouldn’t take a holiday”. Maybe you have a dozen reasons. If you look closely, what you think are reasons are actually your fears. Sometimes fear can be disguised as “logical” thinking or “realistic” thinking. Your fears disguised as reasons are only there to hold you back and keep you safe – to keep you comfortable and operating within your comfort zone.

You may have fears around hearing no, getting hurt, failing, going broke, being fired, or being disliked. But these fears don’t actually exist in reality. These fears only exist in your head, unless you have a magic, crystal ball and can tell me exactly what’s going to happen. If you do, you’ve got to let me know because I want to get my hands on it!

So many people stay in jobs they don’t genuinely enjoy because they are afraid of the uncertainty that comes with trying something new or different. At some point, people even start to accept suffering in their jobs and in their lives as the new normal and continue to choose it over stepping into the unknown.

The unknown can be a scary place and our fears can have a powerful hold over us. They can act like a prison cell. Fear keeps you in your comfort zone, it keeps you in what you know, what you interpret as safe. But where do your dreams live? Where does what you really, really want live?

Your biggest most badass dreams and aspirations live outside of your comfort zone. That means you need to work on your relationship with discomfort. Being a badass boss means being uncomfortable a lot of the time.

As boss you’re in charge. You say what stays and what goes. You may have some people counting on you too! Sometimes as boss you have to fire people, sometimes you get to hire people – as boss you hold the vision of where it is you want your company (your life) to go.

Be the boss of your life. Look at your fears and at being uncomfortable as your best guide, your most trusted right-hand advisor. Instead of fear and discomfort being something to avoid, lean into it! Discomfort is necessary if you’re going to live your fullest life and be your own badass boss.

Ask any successful individual – whether they are an athlete, an entrepreneur, a corporate professional, or a creative. They will tell you it took going beyond their fears to achieve their dreams. It took being uncomfortable and not knowing how it was all going to turn out – but in the face of that uncertainty and in the unknown, they kept going. Every time I’m in an airplane I think of the Wright brothers – they stood for the possibility of flight in the face of the whole world telling them it was impossible.

So what are some things that you want right now that are outside of your comfort zone? What are some steps you can take right now as “badass boss” to get it?

If taking a big leap feels too overwhelming and stops you in your tracks – a common behavioral pattern for many – what’s a small step you can take right now that will take take you in that direction, to the edge or just beyond your comfort zone, going after what you want? Is there someone you could call? A request you could make? A question you could pose? Research you could do? A plan you could start putting into action?

Let’s say you’re just not happy in your career. I mean who said you had to earn income doing only one thing, the same thing, your entire life? Maybe you want to take your career to the next level or you want to try something totally different? Maybe you want to start working part-time on a side hustle or maybe you want to start working full-time on your own company?

If getting really real with yourself and putting in your notice this week is too big of a leap for you, what about putting aside time this week in your calendar to start really thinking about what it is you want? Request informational interviews with those in the industry you are interested in or  look into getting the training you need to do that something else.

Start with small steps such as those and the next thing you know, you’ll find yourself as the founder and CEO of your own business, the working actor getting paid to be on set, or the person who had the courage to give it all up to get what they really wanted. Nothing will seem impossible. You want some of that? You can have it.

You’re the only one with the power to say what’s possible for you and your life. Take your power back. Join me in re-inventing leadership and what it means to be a badass boss in your life. Be the authority figure in your life and of your life. It’s you who gets buried in the ground at the end of the day – not your colleagues, not your bank account, not your family, friends or circumstances. How do you want to go out?


Think of this work as a work out. You’re building strength in a new muscle – your own badass boss muscle. The more you practice taking action outside of your comfort zone towards what you want, the stronger the muscle becomes and the easier it gets. Within days, weeks, and months you’ll be looking back at where you first started with that one small step (like taking the time to do some research or making a request of someone) and be amazed by what you’ve accomplished and the massive determined action you’re now able to take.

Start now. Be powerful. Be that badass boss you know you are!

Being fearless

If you’re waiting for your fears to go away, you’ll be waiting a long time.

A common misunderstanding about being “fearless” is that it involves having no fear. However, I have yet to dissolve all of my fears and I consider myself to be fearless all the time.

So what does it mean to be fearless?

It means that in the face of fear (sometimes a lot of it) you go beyond it. Fearful thoughts pop up in my head all the time, so what I do to go beyond them is change the way I relate to them.

First, I look at my fear as a healthy and normal sign that I’m alive! Fear (feeling afraid or having doubts) can be a good indicator. It can mean you’re challenging yourself, stepping outside of your comfort zone, or doing something that really matters to you. These are all good things.

Fear arises when we feel uncomfortable. It’s one of the ego’s ways of trying to “protect” us. This is great if you’re in real danger, but most of the time your life isn’t under any real threat. So the fear and doubt your ego projects is just there to try and stop you from taking action against some imagined threat(s).

Fear, if you let it, will keep you in the stands. It will keep you small and convince you it’s best just to stay where you are (in your comfort zone). So how do you get out of the stands and onto the court participating in the game of life?

Next time you’re faced with fear, thank it for showing up. Evaluate whether you’re in any real danger. Chances are you’re not. So let your fear know you don’t actually need any protecting right now.

Then, get curious about your fear. Don’t engage in judgments about it, for example, make it mean that you’re not good enough, there’s something wrong with you or you don’t have what it takes. Don’t try to suppress your fear either. Instead start investigating – what’s the payoff for not taking action? What are you gaining from letting your fears or self-doubt run the show? what is it you’re really afraid of? Does your fear stem from a past experience? Are you projecting a certain outcome onto the situation? Do you have a magic crystal ball that’s showing you your future, exactly what will happen if you take this action?

The truth is, you nor I have any idea what will happen. So why not declare for the best! Because the truth is, you really have nothing to lose. The only certain outcome we have in life is death. Sorry (not sorry) for going there, but it’s true. That’s all we know for certain. Some day, not sure when, you are going to die. Everything else is uncertain, up in the air for creation.

So whether you were thinking about telling someone in your life how you really feel about them, starting your own business, or thinking about talking to your boss about the new role you’d like to take on this year, get curious about what you’re really afraid of happening. Chances are you may be afraid of feeling hurt, afraid you might fail, or afraid to take on risk.

But so what? Will these things kill you? Of course not! What do you have to lose? All your fear is trying to do is protect you from feelings that may be uncomfortable and to keep you “safe”. So if your life isn’t in danger, go ahead and do it.

Taking the time to check-in and get familiar with what you’re really afraid of instead of suppressing it or ignoring it will help take some of the weight off. You’ll likely notice some of the same fears always coming up, so you’ll learn to stop taking them so seriously and you’ll start having more fun.

Going beyond your fear keeps you in the game working towards what you want. You become an active participant in creating opportunities for yourself. You’ll start that business, you’ll tell that someone you love them, you’ll start setting boundaries, or maybe start making more time for yourself. The possibilities are endless.

Because all that lies beyond your fear is pure possibility. Possibility is where creation, authenticity, and opportunity live. It’s where magic exists.

If you’d like to start taking action in the face of your fears and start living from possibility, I encourage you to get in touch and work with me at coaching@katieleah.com. You’ll be in action fearlessly in no time!

Claim your superpower

Let’s think about it this way:

What you tell yourself all day long becomes your superpower.

Your inner dialogue not only influences how you feel, but what you see, how you act and what you attract.

You can use it for good or you can use it for evil.

Many of us, more often than not, walk around on auto-pilot unaware of how we talk to ourselves. But once you become aware of your thoughts and inner chatter (daily meditation is one tool that can be helpful with this) you can take control over how you use them and craft your superpower. In essence, you can take control of what you say and in turn what you become.

Do you want to put on a superhero’s cape or do you want to wear a supervillain’s crown?

Every day you get to choose what kind of superhero you want to be so why not choose to be one that is badass, one that will empower you, that will love you.

Lord knows we need more superhero’s out there in the world.

And as my acting coach always says, “if you think it, you will feel it”.

– Katie

Re-write your stories so they empower you

We’re all storytellers. We love to tell stories. We tell stories to ourselves and to others all day long.

We’ve got stories about why we act a certain way or why others act a certain way. We’ve created stories around our health, our careers, our relationships, and what we can and cannot do. We collect a whole lot of evidence to support these stories of ours. We start collecting evidence from the time we are born and we continue to do so in our daily interactions and life experiences as adults.

But just as the metaphors we use in our daily lives are important (pay attention to how you complete this sentence: Life is _______), so too are the stories we tell ourselves. Especially when it comes to the areas of our lives that matter most to us.

Our stories can be very powerful. They can influence who we are being and our actions in our relationships and day-to-day lives. Gaining awareness of the stories you tell yourself will help you identify those that are serving you vs those that are disempowering you and preventing you from achieving what you want. Disempowering stories stop you from experiencing authenticity, wholeness, joy, love, connection, and purpose in your life. Those are the ones that need to be re-written.

Take money for example. What’s your story around money? Is it rooted in lack? An example of what lack could look like is, “I can’t make money doing what I really want to do so I have to make sacrifices and stay in a job I don’t necessarily enjoy. I stay in this job because I tell myself it’s more safe and reliable. I know I can pay the bills and afford the lifestyle I want with this job”.

This story could have been created in your childhood or maybe it was created as a result of a past failure. Maybe you tried to start a business before and failed. Or maybe you had parents who felt stuck at jobs they didn’t enjoy because they needed to provide food on the table and a roof over your head. Or maybe your story of lack around money looks like you’ll never make as much money as you like or you’ll always be in debt.

A story about money that is rooted in abundance could look like gratitude for what you have and confidence there’s more where that came from. It could look like monthly giving and charitable contributions or believing you can make money in a job that excites you.

Investigate your stories. It’s really important to know the narrative you’re operating from because you’re going to get more of whatever it is you’re telling yourself. If in your story, the princess or prince never meets their match, chances are your dating experiences will continue to be very unfulfilling or perhaps daunting and frustrating.

Start with the areas of your life that matter most to you. It could be anything from family relationships, friendships, or romantic relationships. It could be your health, your finances, your career, or your creative pursuits.

Distinguish which areas of your life are working for you and which ones aren’t. Off the bat this will give you a good indication as to what stories are empowering vs disempowering you. The areas of your life that aren’t working are the stories you’ll want to really dive into so that you can re-write them to empower you.

Investigate where your disempowering stories may have come from; this will give them less power. Are they based on a past experience, your childhood, something someone else experienced, societal pressures or perhaps the result of an abusive relationship?

Once you re-write new empowering stories such as, “I can make money doing what I love”, write down some actions you can take to support this new narrative. What are new ways of being you could try on? With the money example it could be 1) start researching other job opportunities, 2) build your knowledge and skills of ‘xyz’ to create a business out of it, 3) reach out to contacts for informational interviews or insights into industries that interest you, 4) hire a coach to help you get into action and get what you want.

Awareness grants you the power to choose. Once you take responsibility for the stories you tell yourself (the choices you make) you’ll start living a life that is in line with what you want. You take on the role of empowering author.

– Katie

How to be productive

In some ways we have little control over our feelings. We can’t always anticipate from one moment to the next how we may feel. So why do we let our feelings have any control over us?

Some mornings we wake up in great moods feeling refreshed and ready to seize the day, while others may require a little extra coffee and convincing to get going. I know that there’s days I feel more inspired to check off my list-to-do, then there’s others where it feels like I’m heaving a 100-pound weight behind me with a dark storm cloud of dread following me wherever I go.

So when it comes to my daily productivity and to-do list, what I do know is that if I let my feelings take control of my steering wheel I am less likely to complete all of the things I had planned to do. Same goes for the role fear can play in stopping you from pursuing a life of your own design (see my post on being fearless!).

The bottom line is if you let your feelings run the show, the moments you feel less inspired will inevitably be the time you spend unproductively, whereas the moments you feel more in control will be the times you feel inspired to do it all! So given the unpredictability of our feelings from day to day or moment to moment, it’s important to know what you can do to take control of your steering wheel to keep you in flow and working towards your goals vs. sabotaging them.

What works for me is scheduling out my days or weeks in advance. I take into account everything that I have to do with all of the things that I want to do and I schedule everything in. You can even schedule in “free time” to do whatever your heart desires at that given moment. But the most important part of this all is that once you schedule out your day or week, you must commit to sticking to your schedule regardless of how you may feel when that time comes. You can hope that most of your days ahead will be filled with motivation but if we’re being realistic, we know that undesirable feelings will likely come up at some point so when they do, you stick to your schedule. In other words, acknowledge your feelings (because suppressing them could make matters worse) but tell them to take the back seat and continue on your way to doing whatever it is you said you would do. 

Give this a try:

      Take out your calendar. You can use the one in your phone, on your computer, or purchase an agenda if that suits you best. Should you decide to go with your phone or computer, you can also set it up so they sync with each other. Makes life so much easier!

      Before you start to schedule in your commitments, set yourself up for success. Be realistic with your time commitments. Make sure you don’t squeeze too many things in on any given day. It could also be best for you to schedule in your most difficult or dreaded tasks first thing in the day (so you can get them over with and feel an awesome sense of accomplishment throughout the rest of the day), then schedule in your easier tasks later on. Tailor it to your strengths and weaknesses – whatever they are. And also allow for sufficient time to complete your tasks or get from one place to the next if travel is required.

       So go ahead and schedule in all the commitments you’ve already made for the coming week (social commitments, work commitments, family commitments, appointments, etc.). Look over these commitments and assess whether they are realistic or if you feel like you may have over scheduled yourself in one or more areas. If you have over scheduled, re-arrange your commitments so that they work for you. Remember you want to set yourself up for success.

      Next schedule in all of the work, school or most important assignments and tasks you need to complete this week.

      Now schedule in all of the other items you want to do (ie. appointments, personal errands, working out, meditating, grocery shopping, laundry, cleaning, cooking etc.)

      Finally, if you like you can also schedule in all the other things you’d like to find time for. These could be leisure activities or free time. If you tend to be a workaholic, I think it’s useful to schedule in your leisure time or commit to actually taking time away from work for yourself. Days can fly by and we often put our self-care last or we come up with a variety of reasons as to why we can put it off and do it another time. You may find it useful to schedule time in to enjoy a good book or take a relaxing bath. Maybe you want to set time aside to catch up with friends, research your next travel destination, or to learn a new language, a musical instrument, or a new recipe.

In the end, it’s all about sticking to your word – doing what you said you’d do when you said you’d do it. So when an event pops up on your calendar, you do it, regardless of how you feel at that given moment. This will require discipline because at times your feelings will be very persuasive!

By going beyond how you feel and sticking to your guns you’ll ensure that you maintain control over the direction your bus (read: your day and your life) is headed. Or hey, maybe you want to think of yourself as a Ferrari or a Porsche, whatever floats your boat. All that matters is that you don’t let your feelings take control of your steering wheel.  Acknowledge their presence, thank them for showing up for the ride but give them a boot to the back seat. Because you can’t force yourself to not feel something, you might as well invite them to come along for the ride just don’t let them participate in any of the planning or driving!

And despite your best efforts there will be times when you REALLY REALLY don’t feel like doing something (for example, I really don’t want to organize all my tax documents for my accountant right now) and your feelings will start to convince you to let yourself off the hook. When this happens and you feel yourself about to give-in, think about how you’ll feel once you accomplish the task. What is the payoff of doing it? Chances are you’ll feel great and happy you got it done. Like going to the gym, getting there is often the hardest part. You may also feel a sense of accomplishment or a little lighter for having checked off another item on your list to-do. Pat yourself on the back for this. Job well done!

Ultimately, if you do fall down, if you give in to your feelings and don’t do something you said you were going to do, don’t beat yourself up over it. Accept that you’re human. Humans make mistakes and hey, it happens. Be gentle with yourself, forgive yourself and accept that it happened so move on. Look at it as a learning experience (what did you gain from your procrastination and what did it cost you ), then re-commit to your calendar. You may fall down a few times, especially at the beginning, but what’s important is that you keep getting back up and re-committing.

With practice, time and patience, it’ll get easier. You’ll start to like how it feels when you commit to your word and get things done. You’ll naturally want to start feeling this way more often. Relish in the moments you succeed. Pay attention to how it feels and what you accomplish. You may just amaze yourself and inspire others around you!

Start by celebrating even a morning where you commit to everything in your calendar and grow from there into a whole day, a week, a month, then a whole year.

This practice has contributed greatly to my life. It’s helped me get unstuck and achieve many goals (big and small, like even writing this post) and it’s yanked me out of ways of being that just don’t serve me anymore.

You, not your feelings, steer your wheel and control how your days shape out. In the long run this means you take control over how your life plays out and the person you become.

Love, Katie